87+ Witty Instagram Captions For Couples Selfies!

If you haven’t come across the best Witty captions, then this is the right place, we have gathered an amazing collection of 87+ Witty Instagram captions for your next pictures, which gives you the opportunity to stand out online crowd.

Witty Instagram Captions
Witty Instagram Captions


It includes both witty captions and quotes you can use on your Instagram and other social accounts. Instagram has become the most popular across all social media networks, in which photos, pictures, and videos are shared through the Internet to reach out to online communities.

At present, more than 5 billion people in the whole world are actively participating in social media. Every photo on Instagram tells its own story.

Must Read | 75+ Sad Instagram Captions & Quotes

These photo photos and videos are more meaningful by using the best Instagram Witty captions. That Caption may be funny, short, odd, weird, cool, awesome, Savage, etc.

The following list contains a collection of Witty caption ideas for all social media profiles. Just copy & paste the lines and use them along with photos and share the list with your friends.

Witty Instagram Captions

  • Be the kind of person that makes others step up their game.
  • Different doesn’t mean wrong.
  • Everyone has a chapter they don’t read out loud.
  • I am not taking a selfie, I am just checking my camera quality.
  • I’m not high maintenance, you’re just low effort.
  • Never on schedule but always on time.
  • Sending my selfie to NASA, because I’m a star.
  • Single as a dollar but not looking for change.
  • Too glam to give a damn.
  • What you seek is seeking you.
  • When the roots are deep there are no reasons to fear the wind.
  • You just can’t spell awesome without me

Witty Captions For Instagram

  • Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
  • You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever!
  • I used to have superpowers… But a therapist took them away.
  • If you have nothing to be grateful for, check your pulse.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, …then skydiving is probably NOT for you.
  • We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
  • For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
  • When you are at the end of your rope…tie a knot and swing 🙂
  • Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone.
  • You can’t be late until you show up.
  • Save a tree, eat a beaver…

Witty Instagram Captions For Selfies

  • When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails.
  • Take my advice — I’m not using it.
  • War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
  • If the music’s too loud you’re too old.
  • I fell in love at first sight. I should have looked twice.
  • If Plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Keep calm.
  • The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  • Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
  • Change is good, but dollars are better.
  • We live in an age where pizza gets to your home before police.

Witty Instagram Captions For Friends

  • The smallest changes make the biggest difference.
  • If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
  • We have fought for our freedom, then we begin to accumulate laws to take it away from ourself.
  • A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.
  • Must Do: Make a to- do list
  • An optimist is a person that falls off the empire state building and after 50 floor says so far so good!
  • If money doesn’t grow on trees why do bank have branches?
  • If at first you don’t succeed, pay someone else to do it for you.
  • The noblest of dogs is the Hot Dog, it feeds the hand that bites it.
  • 87.6% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  • My mom has the most awesome daughter in the world!
  • Raisins that look like chocolate chips is the reason why I have trust issues.
  • Common sense is not so common.
  • Wise people think all they say, fools say all they think.

Witty Instagram Captions For Couples

Witty Instagram Captions For Couples
Witty Instagram Captions For Couples
  • If everything seems to be coming your way, you’re probably in the wrong lane.
  • Failure is not falling down, it is not getting up again.
  • A bad plan is better than no plan.
  • Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
  • Failure teaches success.
  • Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.
  • I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
  • The greatest risk is to risk nothing at all.
  • Every man is the architect of his own fortune.
  • Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
  • The worst distance between two people is misunderstanding.
  • I don’t have a bad handwriting. I have my own font.
  • Magnify you Skills…or else modify your Goals.
  • I am not fat, I am just easier to see.
  • I am not arguing. I am simply explaining why I’m right.
  • The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.

Witty Captions For Instagram Selfies

  • The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.
  • As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
  • If dreams really come true, what about nightmares.
  • The fridge is a perfect example of what’s inside is what matters.
  • There is nothing more annoying than two people talking while you’re trying to interrupt.
  • If I’m driving you crazy just remember to put on your seat belt.
  • Energizer Bunny arrested — charged with battery.
  • Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
  • There is a thin line between genius and insanity and I have erased it.

Witty Quotes For Instagram

A witty saying proves nothing. – Voltaire

A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty sayings are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string. – George Dennison Prentice

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. – William James

Action will destroy your procrastination. – Og Mandino

All progress has resulted from people who took unpopular positions. – Adlai E. Stevenson

An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. – Abraham Lincoln

Arguing with a fool proves there are two. – Doris M. Smith

Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no fibs. – Oliver Goldsmith

Better a witty fool than a foolish wit. – William Shakespeare

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. – Robert Frost

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. – Confucius

Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play. – William Congreve

Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece. – Ralph Charell

Don’t worry about people stealing an idea. If it’s original, you will have to ram it down their throats. – Howard Aiken

Dreams don’t work unless you do. – John C. Maxwell

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That’s why dreamers are lonely. – Erma Bombeck

Every habit makes our hand more witty, and out wit more handy. – Friedrich Nietzsche


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81+ Cute Instagram Captions

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He has expertise in producing high-quality & well-researched content in different areas such as captions and motivational quotes for Instagram, and content on other topics for social media use.

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