37 Ready to use Funny Facebook Quotes That Will Get Likes & Share

Different ways you can make your Facebook posts, profile pic, and status catchy, try using Ready to use Funny Facebook Quotes That Will Get Likes & Share.

The funny and unique status will always attract user attention. Facebook is such a platform that allows you to express your thoughts, pics, etc.

Funny Facebook Quotes That Will Get Likes

Almost every day people use Facebook for something or other, people are actually obsessed with Facebook they post everything on it whether its a personal or professional kind of stuff.

If you have a large number of friends on your board you can easily grab your follower’s attention quite easily by posting something interesting. Here in this article, we take through Funny Facebook Quotes That Will Get Likes & shares, and choose the right one for your status.

Sarcastic Status Updates for Facebook

  • 7 billion people on the planet. I can only tolerate probably 10 of them.
  • I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
  • If I went to hell, it would take me a week to realize I wasn’t at work.
  • If we tell people the brain is an app, maybe they’ll start using it.
  • It means more work for me when I find myself with people who can’t make fun of themselves.
  • My sarcasm only gets me in trouble when my brain-to-mouth filter is malfunctioning.
  • People keep saying “I hate to bother you.” Maybe they should learn how to hate it a little bit more.
  • Quitting Facebook is the new adult version of running away from home. We all know you’re doing it for attention and we all know that you’ll be back!
  • Sarcasm helps keep people from understanding you’re saying what you really think of them.
  • TEIAM — problem solved.

Funny Facebook Relationship Status Updates

  • A relationship should be between two people, not the whole world.
  • I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now change your Facebook status.
  • If you really loved me, you would say it on my Facebook Wall.
  • If your relationship status says, “It’s complicated,” maybe you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single.”
  • Relationship Status COMING SOON

Funny Facebook Quotes About Love

  • A big shout out to those wonderful-looking women who date broke and unattractive men. Indeed, you keep hope alive. Thanks.
  • For the singles out there, stop searching for love or you’ll just end up getting married.
  • I am single because God is busy writing the best love story for me.
  • I Facebook Like button you but I don’t Facebook Love button you.
  • I love my bed, but I’d rather be in yours.
  • I need someone to touch me the same way a woman touches a pair of shoes she can’t afford.
  • I never get to ask why you’re still married, so stop asking why I’m still single.
  • I’m not drunk, I’m in love.
  • Love the person who deserves it, not the one who requires it.
  • My girlfriend said I’m crazy. The weird things, she still likes me.
  • Relationships these days start with a Like.
  • The only time I’ve passionately knocked everything off a table, I was trying to make room for a pizza.
  • The trouble with being awesome is that opposites attract.

Sarcastic Updates about Marriage

  • Friends are forever – until they get married.
  • I didn’t find out what happiness meant until I got married… and then it was too late.
  • I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
  • In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
  • Marriage is like going to an eatery, ordering something, then taking a glance at a nearby table and wishing you had ordered that.
  • My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don’t try to run her life and I don’t try to run mine.
  • Whoever invented the idea that your harshest critic is yourself was clearly never married.

Funny Facebook Status Updates about Family

  • First comes love, then comes marriage… then kids make it a family!
  • Having kids is like continually cleaning up after a huge party that you didn’t attend.
  • I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle! Too bad he’s dreaming too.
  • I get kids confused each time I tell them I’m older than the internet.
  • If you say you love your family, how come there’s one remaining slice of pizza for three of you
  • It doesn’t make any sense to share your room with your spouse when kids have their own rooms.
  • Looking for your kids Turn off the Wi-Fi and suddenly they appear.
  • Mosquitoes are like family – they suck blood.
  • My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, “Who murdered this guy with a pipe”
  • Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
  • Send a woman to the store to get 5 items she will come home with 54. But send a man to the store to get 5 items; he will come home with 4. It’s simple science.
  • Waiting in the car is a pretty important part of being a Dad.

Funny Quotes about Social Media Platforms

Funny Quotes about Social Media Platforms
  • “W.T.F.” is WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook.
  • Crying Grab a tissue, not Facebook.
  • Dear Facebook Please stop asking me what’s on my mind. I’m gonna get myself in trouble if I keep spilling my guts to you.
  • Don’t trust a person with only one Facebook picture.
  • Doncha hate it when someone tags you in a photo you look horrible in because they look so good
  • Facebook needs three buttons, “Like”, “Dislike” and “Stop being stupid.”
  • Facebook resembles a jail since you write on its wall.
  • I can’t wait for TikTok to reunite me with everyone I’ve blocked on Facebook.
  • I hope I die doing what I love checking my Facebook notifications while driving.
  • I wouldn’t need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat.
  • I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status. My cat ate my mouse.
  • If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.
  • It’s almost bedtime, so I’ll just check my email, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.
  • Social media is perfect because it satisfies my desire to be alone while still getting attention from people.
  • That awkward moment when you wave to a stranger on Facebook by accident.
  • What password does Forrest Gump use for his Facebook account 1forrest1!
  • Why will you see Voldemort on Instagram, but you won’t find him on Facebook Because he’s got followers, not friends!

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